Where the sidewalk ends

I loved this book as a child- I loved Shell Silverstein and can actually still recite some of his poems. Today I went for a walk, as I am bored out of my mind and my parents are pissy about my use of their cars. Plus, I love walking in Chi. So I walked.

And it was the most depressing thing I have done since I've been home. Now, my family always accuses me of condemning Fenton and acting superior because I live in Chicago; but this place just doesn't suit me. I hate it here so much. I never say, "Chicago is so much better," as that is not my attitude. My attitude is, "I hate Fenton." It is a small town with ignorant people; and the local paper actually has a section called the "HotLines" where you can have your complaints (and compliments- but who gives those these days?) published every Wednesday. In high school boys would write in false complaints and see if they got published. My mother and her friends wrote in serious complaints about certain coaches. I hate the mentality here. It's so coniving and sick. People pretend to be vague- for courtesy's sake- but oh, you know what's being said.

I walked out my front door and toward the French Laundry, and around "Dibbleville"- that took about 29 seconds. Historic Fenton is cool, don't get me wrong, it's just not in Fenton. It's at Crossroads Village. Yup. All of the buildings were taken apart and reassmbled in Flint. Because we needed to build Dancer's in Fenton. Don't remember Dancer's? Well, now it's a bank and parking lot. Just tear down history on a whim to build an over-priced childrens' clothing store, and when that's a bust, just pave it over and throw up a bank- we need more of those in Fenton. If you are ever at Crossroads Village, check out the Fenton Opera House- they actually numbered each brick and put the building together exactly as it was in Fenton. Cool, but not in Fenton.

So I walked through Dibbleville and to the community center, which has a large poster with an architectual drawing of a new "Fenton Cultural Center." The name alone made me laugh. As a cultural anthropology minor, I tried to step outside of what I knew Fenton as, and regain a new unbiased view. I saw this- more pizza places than public parks, lots of failing businesses, "spaces for lease," deteriorating school buildings, more traffic lights than necessary, bored children, naive parents, and people so ignorant they defended their own ignorance, instead of acknowledging it.

That's pretty much what I thought of it in the first place.

I'm not saying that there is nothing worth appreciating about Fenton; I met my best friend here- you know how everybody has that one person they could not talk to for 20 years, and then pick up a phone and talk like they just spoke the day before? She's mine. So I am thankful for her. And also that the Fenton Area School District was fairly unorganized and I could float by with minimal effort and acceptable grades. I'm thankful that I got to be completely lazy, and still gain acceptance into my first choice college. That's nice. Also the lakes, as I am a water person. I actually feel uneasy when not near a body of water, so situated less than five minutes from at least nine lakes is good. Also for camp, but I do have some beef with that.

I have lived in Fenton since I was two and a half years old. I heard of Camp Copneconic once growing up here- it was in middle school when my mom showed me an article clipped out of the local newspaper, about how the camp employed people from all over the world. She thought it was cool, and so did I. And that was the end of it. I've told friends, who also grew up in this town, that I work at Camp Copneconic, and they ask where it is.

"On Fenton Road, just before Baldwin."
"Really? I've never noticed it."

It's probably the best thing Fenton has going for it (that, and Tim Hortons), and nobody knows about it. I drove past it at least twice a day for most of my life because the barn I rode at is just north of camp. I guess camp needs some better PR in Fenton. I'll get on that.

I just re-read my first paragraph and noticed I am kind of veering off topic. Cut to the chase:

1) I hate the overall attitude of people who live here.
2) This place doesn't really offer anything to anybody.
3) Give me city, or give me country, but don't ever put me in between. I will be miserable.

I come home from Chicago and remember how unhappy I was in high school- only I didn't know it. I didn't know that I was depressed until I found out what it was like to be happy. ChiTown, ChiTown, show 'em how to get down.

peace, love, and ponies.

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."
-Nelson Mandela