4 Month Catch Up

Bonjour. Long time, no update. So, I shall update you.

1. I no longer work at CPK- on the morning I was supposed to graduate from college (had I been able to stick with one major and not given myself the terrible task of a "victory lap" fifth year) I was at CPK getting dressed in the bathroom. I had on the shapeless black pants, the garbage-bag sized white oxford shirt, and stood looking in the mirror, red polyester tie in hand. I decided I didn't want to do it any more; that I physically couldn't put that tie around my neck one more time. So I took my uniform off, threw my blue sundress back on and walked right out the front door, waving my hand and tossing my hair at my ex-colleagues, whilst chirping "Later, bitches!"

2. I no longer work at Hamilton's, Loyola's college bar, as there aren't enough college kids around in the summer to frequent the place, thus making it impossible to earn any good money.

3. I now work as a cocktail waitress in the Gold Coast, at a bar called McFadden's, where I will admit there is WAY too much Affliction, Ed Hardy, and white leather purses. However, most unfortunate is the fact that I work in an establishment that employs a go-go dancer; she wears gold lame boyshorts and a green bra, rocking her pelvis to the likes of the Black Eyed Peas (I actually stopped mid-step on Saturday when I saw how she shook her pelvis to Boom Boom Pow, my mouth hanging open with honest shock), B. Spears, and Lady GaGa. But hey, I make enough money to keep me happy, and my uniform is just a black t-shirt with whatever I want on the bottom, as long as it's black. Tres comfy, tres slimming. Bonus!

4. Funny thing is, when I shotgun quit my job at CPK, my intention was to finally do what my heart (so corny, I know, but "following my impulses" sounded dumb, too) was telling me to and finally hunker down with my laptop and write my damn book. That was six weeks ago. How far along am I on my new book, you ask? Haven't tapped out a single letter, yet. Some day...

5. I got a puppy! I've been considering it for a long time, trying to decide between a little dog that could live comfortably in my apartment, or a bigger dog that would be cramped for a year or two before I leave the city. For small breeds, I really wanted a Pomeranian. So. Damn. Fluffy. Girl name: Princes Cupcake Sparkleface. Boy name: Olive Loverpants McGee. For bigger breeds, I really wanted an Australian Shepherd. They're super smart and energetic, and I loved the Aussies at the barn I rode at growing up. So, I've been browsing a site called petfinder.com for the past, oh, eight months looking for something that would work for me. I almost got that puppy named Henry in December, but Linda Kelly threatened bodily harm. So anyways... petfinder.com puts all the dogs at local rescues and shelters online for people to browse (though I wanted a purebred dog, I would never buy one from a breeder, and petfinder has lots of purebreeds at shelters that need to be saved, too), and browse I did. But nothing seemed quite right until one day Nital said "Look at these." Lo and behold, there was a litter of puppies at a rescue in the suburbs that were 1/2 Pomeranian, 1/2 Australian Shepherd. I called the lady up and made sure I got first pick of the litter. Three girls and a boy. I went with the intention of getting a girl (to be named Vivi, because the whole princess thing wouldn't work for a herding dog like an Aussie) but ended up going home with the lone boy. He was 10.5 weeks old when I got him, and really effing cute. His name is Dash and at 13 weeks, he can sit, stay, high-five, shake, come, fetch/drop it, and he's almost completely house broken. I think decent progress is being made, as I've never had a dog and am using google as my main inspiration when it comes to understanding puppy behavior. Anyways, he's cute and precious and wakes me up at 7am every day, so I'm ready for bed by 11:00pm. A definite adjustment from my pre-dog wake up time of 1pm, and bed time around 3 or 4am. So anyways, that's that.

6. I started a 10-day stint on the Master Cleanse today. I did five days in March and loved the way it made me feel, but my original goal was 10 days (I lost a battle with a very tempting key lime martini, which led to lobster ravioli, and thus my failure to reach my goal, yet also my success at eating really good food that I didn't have to pay for). So I'm doing 10 days now; June 16-25. To lead up to this stint on the cleanse, I ate a vegetarian diet (mostly just fruits and veggies, very little dairy, and just a little Kashi) to help curb the cravings that killed my mojo last time. The weight loss will be a bonus, as I'm going to a wedding just two days after I finish, but it's more about cleaning my body; I want to start eating a cleaner diet, and actually be conscious about what I eat. No more McDonald's double cheeseburgers or footlongs from Subway. I love the idea of going vegan, but it's such a big commitment and hassle. So I think that once I come off the cleanse, I'll do another week or two on a vegetarian diet and then maybe go for some free-range chicken or grass-fed beef. (Wanna learn about how bad the beef is we eat on a daily basis? Watch King Korn and change your perception of burgers- it's not about animal cruelty or anything like that. I promise I'm not making a PETA-like plug there.) So anyways, Master Cleanse for ten days followed by a clean diet. Next I'll be wearing hemp clothing and Birkenstocks.

I promise I'll keep you updated and continue posting on a regular basis.

loving T. Swift,
amk

"Don't waste your youth growing up." -Unknown